You have decided – you want to change your life, or one little aspect of it, you want to start a project or finish one, or simply get more attention to the things you hold valuable in your life. What ever your goal post, most things are very difficult to achieve alone. And even if you ended up doing most of the actual work yourself it is important to have a friend or someone who will be able to help you and give you guidance along the way.
The truth is that everyone has moments when they will doubt their ideas. Moments when they will want to give up. An idea that felt so great yesterday may feel so silly or unreachable the next day. Trust me I know. When you want to see what you can do and start reaching to the stars you will leave your comfort zone and start a path unknown – not only to others but mostly to yourself.
I have had countless moments of doubt. And yes, I can talk to my friends and they are great because they will always support me and agree with me. And yes, I have a great husband who will give me all the critique in the world. But for a new journey one needs a new friend. I was fortunate to meet Jennifer. Our personalities and strengths balance each other. We can feed ideas off each other. We can help each other to break through the doubt. And we share the same passion to move forward and help others do the same.
Old friends can be ok, but old friends often come with a long-relationship-baggage. They know what you want and who you are. If you want to change your life, if you want to do something new or something that may feel challenging it may be difficult to the people around you to see you in a new light at first. You may have to spend a lot of energy at first to convince them about your plan. That energy you could put in better use in your new project!
When you want to do something new and discover new things about yourself you need new friends. You should allocate more time to activities where you are more likely to meet new people with new ideas and (ruthlessly) decrease time with people who are holding you back.
For new projects it is a good idea to have a new friend with a similar mind set. Someone who also wants to discover new things and ideas, who is willing to challenge herself and who is trying to create a more exciting life.
New friends will enrich your life and help you on your journey. They will…
1) Build confidence
If you have already build a good rapport with your new friend, she can quickly see your strengths. It is good to hear what you are good at from people little bit outside your daily circle.
2) Be able to see what you can’t
New friends may be able to spot values, characteristics and talents that you never valued as much as you should. They may be able to appreciate an attribute you didn’t think was that important. They may also be able to give you ideas where else you could use your skills outside your current frame of reference.
3) You can see what the other one can’t
You will be in a position to help your new friend too. It is tremendously fulfilling when you realise you can help someone else. A great relationship is one where both parties enrich each other’s life and openly add value.
4) Ask you questions you didn’t know should be asked
A new friend can add value by expanding your thinking. Mixing with people from different backgrounds, with varied experiences and alternative perspectives in life may help you to open your horizon.
5) Balance your strengths
We all have strengths and weaknesses. Working with someone who is stronger in the areas where you don’t feel you are going to set the world on fire will give you a better chance to succeed even if your relationship would be a short one. If you are open to what other people can contribute you can always learn from every encounter in life.
6) Show you that you are not alone
We tend to think that everyone else has it so easy. That everyone else knows so much more than we do or are much more experienced or did never encounter a set back in their lives. When you talk to people outside your daily circle, people who are on a similar journey, you will quickly learn that everyone is cooking with water. There is no magic bullet and everyone who genuinely wants to learn – can.
7) Push you when you need a push
Your new friend is likely to have less ‘relationship baggage’ with you than some of your old friends and is therefore in a much better position to push you forward (read: kick your ass) when you need a push.
8) Hold you accountable on your promises
Trying to avoid public humiliation, or even just embarrassment in front of one person, may act as the most powerful motivator to get things done. Oh yes, it works!
9) Remind you what you have promised to yourself
Other people can be assigned to remind you what you are here to do. You may have announced how your new life is supposed to turn out and you will need a gentle reminder why you are doing what you are doing.
10) Celebrate the steps you take towards your goal
You will want to celebrate your successes with people who can truly appreciate the journey you have been through and the sacrifices you have made. Choose your friends carefully as when it comes to celebrating your growth you will see who is really genuinely happy for you from the bottom of their hearts. Those are the people you want to surround yourself with.
We believe there should be an easy way to ‘source’ a group of great friends to support you. They should be people you know are on a similar journey and who will be supportive and add value.
Our mission is to build easily accessible support groups for women. The groups will be for women who want support in their journey to create the life they want. Many are entrepreneurs, or aspiring to become one, or they may be considering a career change or starting something while at home with kids. Last week we had our first event in London where we tested the idea to great success. If you would like to be involved and join or hear more about the network, please fill the contact form below and we will send you an invite to the next free event.